kinesiology brisbane

Who Am I?

This is a question I so often hear new mother’s asking themselves post birth. Who the hell am I? What do I like? How do I want to dress? What’s doing with my hair (if I have any left!)? Do I want to go to back to work? Do I still want to be a mum? What does it mean to be a mum? Who the hell am I?!?!

 

I never understood this quite as clearly prior to stepping into this motherhood journey myself, and as I sit here writing this blog, my little 7 month old baby lies sleeping beside me. 7 months old today. And wow, so much has changed since that moment when she entered this world. Who am I now? I’m not totally sure, I’m still evolving into this new version of me. But I’m OK with that, I’m enjoying the transition (most of the time). I don’t dress the same (gone are the long flowy dresses- boobs are just too hard to access!) I don’t exercise every morning. I don’t talk about the same things when I meet up with friends. I’m not interested in reading the same articles I used to. I don’t even hang out with the same people anymore.

 

I know for some mum’s they hate this transition. They feel lost without purpose or clarity. They feel pressure to be the ‘best mum’ whilst also feeling like they should go back to work to generate some income or even have another child. They hate the inevitable changes and feel like they are drowning. I get it. I’ve felt it. I’ve questioned it.

 

So much of our identity pre bubba is reliant on our occupation. Very rarely when meeting a new person is the question not asked ‘what do you do?’. Sure, you can answer this with ‘I’m a stay at home mum’ but often we feel pinned into a box by this response. I know I have a deep resistance within me to be labelled a ‘housewife’. Hell I even hate the term ‘wife’. I am not someone’s wife who stays in the house all day (or am I?!?) I’m so much more than that. I am woman, I am creative, I am strong, I am spiritual, I am passionate and I am intelligent. Hell, I love going outside! Does this sound like ‘housewife’ or can I be an ‘sometimes in the house wife’?? Is my husband now a ‘workhusband’? 

 

But the reality is, it’s deeper than any label. It’s about knowing who you are. Deep inside. Knowing where your true north is pointing you. Knowing what makes you smile, laugh and feel inspired. All of this can be difficult to find as a new mum. Perhaps this is because we are so deeply connected to our new bubbas that their needs, and their new little personality, become more important than our own. So how do we find ourselves again? How do we shine our light so our little one can follow rather than expecting them to lead the way? I invite you to close your eyes, take a deep breath and feel into your heart. What makes your heart sing now? Pull into your mind’s eye different scenarios from your life- old and new. Different people from your life- old and new. Hell, think about some new clothes and a new haircut! What feels right, right now? What and who makes you feel joy? What and who makes you feel full yet light? What makes the love that you know so much more intimately now you have felt love your new babe, feel even bigger and brighter?

 

Perhaps this is your new bubba and you simply don’t need any more right now. Perhaps it’s the idea of sharing your stories with other women. Perhaps it’s packing up and heading on a holiday while you have the maternity leave? Perhaps it’s getting creative and playing with your children in a new way? Perhaps it’s going to back to work a few days a week or tweaking your role slightly into something that excites you more? Did you even like what you used to do or were you simply in it? Has this initiation of motherhood actually made you open your eyes to know you need a change in other areas of your life??

 

Perhaps you were never that clear on who you were prior to bubba’s arrival and this abundance of time without other adult company has made you realise a few things. Perhaps it’s sent you into a tailspin. All I can say sister, is that it’s perfect. It’s perfect in it’s imperfection. In it’s unknown. In it’s pain and questioning. It’s making you clearer if you allow it. If you dive into it. If you don’t get frightened by the inevitable change. You must change and grow as must your bubba, your relationship, your career, your body and your life. Why would we want things to stay the same? Nothing in nature stays the same. Allow the flow to come and take you by the hand. Feel into it. Communicate with yourself and those you love. Keep questioning. Keep tweaking it. You will find the next version of you, I promise. Look deeply. It will appear when you least expect it.

Transforming into Motherhood

My journey into motherhood feels like a mystical dream… I’m diving off the edge of cliff- at first I am uncertain, then the flood of adrenaline takes over and I start to enjoy the ride into the unknown. Suddenly my parachute opens, I begin to sail upwards into the darkness of the galaxy. At some point I meet my babe sitting on a star in the milky way and we decide to come back to Earth together. It takes much effort to make our way back down as it is so divine up there. Over the first few weeks together in the outside world, we dive deep into Mother Earth and, with the moon as our light, we navigate the depths of the Earth’s core; the rich soils and root systems, the cool rock ledges and the colourful crystals forming in the deep layers. We jump around some painful fires and dive in the deep waters to cool each other down. We occasionally come up to the surface to try and meet society which feels like a challenge and an effort. Hard work. We quickly descend back down as we come home from our adventure into normality. Each time we venture outside it gradually becomes easier. We are often faced with challenges as we get to know one another and need the sanctuary of home. We need quiet. But we also need some adventure. Day and night meld into one. Days roll into weeks. I feel the pull of what is expected versus what I feel. We keep meeting each other in the dark of the night as we keep changing and growing. I feel that even 6 months on, we are still emerging back up into the human plane. Many times upon this journey I have tried to rush the process of getting it all ‘back to normal’. But that’s OK. I haven’t done this before. I’m being guided by my intuition and at times I don’t hear it as clearly as I would like. I know this adventure will continue for many years and I’m excited by the unknown of it all… if only I allow the moon to be my torch. 

 

Where to start?? I’ve been wanting to write this blog for about the past 5 months and I seem to get lost before I even start. This transition is so intangible, yet so profound. There is no clear starting point. There are no instructions. No black and white. You just do it- hit the ground running- hope for the best- keep going- keep going- keep going. 

The last 6 months since the gorgeous and wonderful little girl, Matraya, entered this world, has been a whirl wind of emotions, change, growth, despair, love, trust, questioning, doubt, intuition, communication, withdrawal, love and more love. I can not truly describe how this experience has transformed me, my relationships, my body and my heart. 

It was so commonly expressed to me during my pregnancy, ‘you can not describe what motherhood is and how it changes you’ and yes there is truth to that. I don’t believe you can be ‘ready’ in the mental sense, but you certainly can be ready on an emotional and energetic sense. This is what I’d like to discuss in this blog…

The journey of pregnancy is a windy road, a road that can throw many challenges to the woman as she grows her baby. However, these challenges have a purpose I believe, and in many cases, the purpose is to slow the woman down and help her descend from being governed by her head, to flowing from her heart. This is readying the woman for heart centred motherhood (which I guess has already begun). This journey of transformation can be a confusing and emotional road if there are resistances, memories, patterns and/or beliefs that are painful that the woman is wanting to avoid. Safer to stay in the head than move to the vulnerable and, at times, painful, place of the heart.

To do this we must slow down. To feel, to open and connect. Working in a fast paced, logic based, routine driven workplace right up until birth will inevitably make this more difficult (not completely impossible however- we have to do what we have to do). Taking time for self care, rest, meditation, breathing, yoga, walks on the beach/ bush, music and creativity can make this easier and swifter. Finding loving support networks will help vastly.

I remember a point in my pregnancy when all of sudden I dropped into my heart... We used to sometimes leave my cat at home on her own for a night if we were going somewhere, but all of a sudden, my heart was the stronger voice and I knew it wasn’t fair on her and I really didn't want to leave her- even just for a full day when I was at work. My little cat was pulling my heart strings in such a strong way. Such a weird example of being heart led rather than head led, but that’s the memory that jumps out at me for when a shift happened. I also physically craved bush/beach time. I longed for that time in the fresh air and calm. I meditated or had a nap most afternoons. I listened to music whenever I had the chance. I truly felt my heart opening and my mind becoming quiet. I guess this is what 'baby brain' is... heart brain is possibly a better explanation.

I also felt an intense connection to other women, especially other mothers and the mothers that have come before me. I felt I knew them in my body, in my DNA. I had no doubt I would soon join their sisterhood. All of sudden, the identity I had created for myself, based on what I did, didn’t matter anymore. I was now accepted and supported simply for being woman. I don’t believe it is necessary to be pregnant/ become a mum to find this connection to the divine feminine, it was simply how I found it. And super important for me to find prior to birthing my babe.

Once we descend to our hearts and are ready for our bubba to arrive, the initiation of the birth occurs. This is so out of our control and we learn to let go even more here. (see my last blog post)

Then bubba is here. Hopefully healthy and happy.

 

I believe this journey deep into our heart through our pregnancy and birth (however that all unfolds physically) readied us for mummahood. As the saying goes, there is no guidebook, and if there was, your bubba certainly hasn’t read it! There is no black and white here. Hence the head can’t serve us here. It’s all heart led. Intuitive led. Trust and hope led. Creativity led. Try it, if it works yes! If not, try something else. Get creative. Talk and connect to others. But ultimately, trust your intuition. The process of pregnancy has brought us so close to it, the process of birth has shifted your whole perception of, well, everything, and brought to your true edge. Now take the plunge and dive into this dark, mysterious and timeless place that is the fourth trimester. What appeared impossible, was indeed possible! You will now get through the deep feminine time of early motherhood. 

Babies are great at slowing us down. They help us become present. Their sweet smell will bring you back from wherever you go to when you don’t think you can be here anymore. They are so wise if you listen. You are so wise if you listen. 

 

My advice for early mummahood, if I can offer some, is to allow yourself the time you need to be still, to listen and to TRUST your own intuition. You’ve got this mumma, as long as you believe you can. You will find the right support, the right advice, the right shoulder to cry on when you need it if you are being led by your intuition and being heart led rather than head led. No one said this was easy, but it can be divine.

Matraya's Birth

My experience of the deep underworld of birthing my babe

 

It’s been three weeks since the awe inspiring day of Matraya’s birth. I have a strong desire to share my experience of birthing my baby, firstly cos I loved it so much (!!) and secondly as I believe there is so much fear around the process of birth. I feel that by sharing more positive birth experiences, we will pave the way for women to feel empowered, rather than fearful, in their process of pregnancy, birth and motherhood.

 

As I reflect on the day of Matraya’s birth, I am filled with wonder, love, a sense of strength and whimsy. It was not an experience just of this world, there were many forces at play, innate and universal. It was timeless and spiritual.

Two phrases summed it up for me, both gifted to me in the weeks leading up to the birth… A Nepalese friend shared with me the mantra “Go beyond… Beyond the mind. Beyond the pain” how true that is and I reminded myself of this at various points of the labour. Secondly, my midwife reminded me at a pivotal moment in the labour (I had read this quote in the week prior to the birth), “women go to the stars to collect their babies” and that is exactly what it felt like.

 

My pregnancy yoga teacher (Suzanne at Yogababy) had also strongly suggested to let go of time, cover any clocks and darken the room, this was so important for me. Had time been a factor, I think the whole process would have taken a very different route. This journey is not of the man made world, time is not relevant here. And now with baby in the real world, again, time fades into the the distance, day and night blurring into one and moments stretching longer and longer as I watch her sleeping (or trying to settle the crying!!)

 

So in a nutshell Matraya’s birth went like this…

Friday early morning, cramping and Braxton Hicks begin in a somewhat irregular manner. This felt like period pain along with tightening of the uterus sensations. I was unsure if this was the start of labour, but did feel that something had shifted within me; my thought process was becoming less analytical, I was not good at making decisions and did not want to see or talk to anyone apart from my partner, Mike. No progression or real ramping up occurred over the course of the day. We had an appointment to meet a “back up” midwife in case my midwife (Debbie) was unable to make the labour. When I shared with her what I was experiencing, she called them ‘niggling pains’. Debbie said it was not labour. This was quite disheartening, I felt that after a full day of cramps and discomfort, that I would have liked it to be the real deal!! I baked a cake and watched a movie to keep myself distracted and calm. When my partner returned home from work, we went for a gentle walk along the river. I was having regular cramping, which meant I had to stop walking every few minutes to sway and dance through them. I felt frustrated that I had to endure this pain and it wasn’t even labour! Mike suggested to call his acupuncturist for a treatment. We went at 7pm. The acupuncturist activated some induction points and ligament release points and it did the trick!

 

That night contractions began and increased in intensity. I managed to sleep through them for as long as possible, dozing and waking depending on my body. It all felt so surreal as I was half asleep but also so aware that my body was opening and this process was really happening. There was a sense of excitement to meet my babe, but also still a sense of uncertainty that this was now the ‘real deal’!

 

By the early hours of Saturday morning, I was on all fours breathing through each contraction and needed to wake Mike to help me maintain my breathing and to apply pressure to my sacrum which eased the pain. We wanted to labour for as long as possible in the comfortable surrounds of our home, but when my contractions escalated to 4 every 10mins, we called Debbie and after chatting with us both, she decided it was time to meet at the Birth Centre.

 

We arrived at the hospital (RBWH Birth Centre) at around 6:30am. I don’t think I’ll ever forget the walk from the car to the birth centre. I had about four contractions and had to stop, moan and breath through each one. What a sight! I felt so strong and somehow special, like I was entering a zone I had not been into before. I knew I was in the midst of something quite special. Something I might only ever experience once in my life. I headed straight into the shower upon arrival, the warm water on my back felt amazing. Debbie filled the bath and then checked my dilation to make sure it was ok for me to go into the bath. The amazing feeling of ease and weightlessness as I entered the bath!! I can not imagine not being in the water for my labour. My whole body surrendered in the bath, enabling my mind to surrender also. We had music playing and aromatherapy burning. The lights were dim and it really did feel like our own safe sanctuary. I wish all women could birth in a safe space such as this birth centre room (or their own homes).

 

With each contraction my body was taking me further and further out of this world. The space between the contractions, I was floating around the stars looking for Matraya. It was divine. Don’t get me wrong, it was hard work (leaving Earth is never going to be easy!) but it was also pure and spacious. I was truly surprised at how pleasant the time between each contraction was. As I sat in the bath recovering from each contraction, a sense of timelessness swept around (right until the end when real world hospital pressures brought time back into the equation).

 

The contractions continued to escalate in intensity but not so much in duration. I focused on my brow and base chakras during each contraction. The vocal sound I was making through the contractions was low, earthy and grounded, I felt like it was opening and connecting my base chakra deep into Mother Earth. Mike pressed on my sacrum during every contraction until the pushing phase, I could not have done it without that pressure. I had what felt like a little nap in the water and then we moved into pushing phase. This was much harder than I expected. I put all my energy into pushing deep into my pelvis for over 2hrs when we decided to leave the bath as things were slowing down. The sac around Matraya was still intact. After trying many upright positions, I ended up pushing on my back, pressing my feet into Mike and Debbie’s shoulders. Eventually we had to get the OK from another midwife in the hospital to continue pushing over the standard hospital 2hr limit (this was the time factor that I mentioned). Had we been at a home birth, I could have kept pushing as long as bub was happy (Deb checked Matraya’s heartrate after every contraction) but as we were in a more formal setting, there was a time limit placed on the pushing phase, at which once reached, some sort of intervention was suggested for bub's safety. For me, that ended up being an episiotomy, which in the scheme of things, did not seem that big a deal. By this time (about 2.5hrs of pushing later) I was happy to do what ever was needed to help my babe out of the birth canal.

 

What a sight to to look down and see her little head emerge! One or two more contractions and she slid out into Mike's hands who guided her onto my belly. This tiny, slippery little human with a head full of jet black hair! I felt surprise, relief and joy at all once. I still didn’t know if she was a girl or boy, so had to pick her up and have a look; a little girl!!! She rested on my belly and chest for what felt like an eternity in a second. I could not see her eyes, but I could feel her soft skin and breath in her smell. I stroked her hair and gazed at Mike with amazement. Not many words were spoken. We left the chord connected until the placenta arrived, I held Matraya as I pushed it out. So much blood and mess, but I did not care, I had this little creature in my arms, so gentle and divine. Pure and precious.

 

Birth; Feminine power and strength. Nature at it’s best. The animal within unleashed.

 

It was time for us to return from the stars and begin our life together on planet Earth… we’ll see how it goes… updates to follow :)

 

 

A special thank you to Debbie from Family Midwives, I could not have done this without your support, trust and the space you offered me to step into my power.

To Mike, again, I could not have done this without your love and strength. Love you and our new little family!

 

To anyone about to embark on birthing their babe, I have lots of specific advice and tips that might be helpful for you. Feel free to shoot me and email and I'll send you some info. 

 

 

 Matraya and Rachelle at 2 weeks old. LOVE

Matraya and Rachelle at 2 weeks old. LOVE

My Journey into Pregnancy

As the time comes for me to drift into maternity leave and embark on the next chapter in my life, I’m left to question and reflect on so much within myself and this journey that is pregnancy. There have been divine blessings, many of which I had no idea would occur, and also many challenges. So much change, both physically (obviously!), mentally, emotionally and spiritually. The energetic shifts that have occurred have catapulted me into new terrain, awareness and presence. I have so much gratitude for this process and wish to share some of my experiences with you...

However, as I often talk with my clients about taking time to acknowledge the achievements gained before catapulting forwards, I know I should start with some refection. Over the past 6 years I have built a thriving, inspirational and fulfilling business as a Kinesiologist/ energy worker/ life coach. It has been quite the journey, from my spare bedroom in Sydney to a clinic in Sydney, then, taking the leap to move to Brisbane and develop a entirely new client base whilst undertaking further study. This leap greatly changed how I worked with my clients and inspired me ultimately to form my own clinic.

Along the way there has been much learning, moments of pure uncertainty and despair and moments of extreme gratitude, love and laughter. Much like the pregnancy! Everyday I am inspired and challenged by each client, each soul I connect with provides me with an opportunity for personal growth and self reflection. I could not have chosen a more beautiful role to step into at that time of my life.

It has been an achievement that I’m completely proud of. My challenge now is to not hold on too tight and allow this next phase of me to unfold organically.

 

So…now... I’m at the edge. In the rocky land of transition.  I’m saying a (temporary) goodbye to my regulars and turning away new clients. It’s hard. I can hear the voice in my head saying, “oh but what would have we discovered there” and placing my self worth in my work rather than in who I am. However, I know if I listen to the deeper me, it is right to let go for the moment. I detach and surrender to the grand plan. It fills me with anticipation, uncertainty and possibility all at once. The moment just before you jump into the unknown.

It conjures a vivid image of myself (and my friends) at an isolated rock ledge in the south of Italy; we had all run to this amazing grotto and were just about to jump our hot and sweaty bodies into the cool blue Mediterranean Sea. I’ve never been one for rock jumping, but I could not say no, so just as I decided to take the plunge, I felt the adrenalin, a huge smile spread across my face, a yelp of excitement and then into the deep depths of the ocean of that soothing water I plunged. Once in the action of it, the joy was there, right with me. The fear was all in the decision making and thinking. The mind.

 

To a degree, I’ve already jumped. Being now 38 weeks pregnant, there is no turning back. It’s happening. And the joy is here! The joy is strong! This is however a two phase change (and most changes ultimately occur in conjunction with many other changes) The next big jump will be labour and the birth of my little bambino/a. And then the journey of parenthood. And then the journey of melding motherhood and kinesiology together. Though lets not get too far ahead of ourselves!! One jump at a time otherwise the overwhelm and fear can get in the way of any the jumps occurring. I remind myself to stay in the present. Stay in this moment. Life seems to unfold at such an incredible pace, however the present moment is always the present moment. There is no speeding or slowing of the moment, it is what it is. It holds much potential and much peace. In the moment of the jump, I must stay present to feel the joy, otherwise it will all be fear in the mind.

 

"To a mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders"
Chuang-tzu, Taoist philospher

 

I’ve found my two biggest sources of comfort within this process are getting into nature regularly and my yoga/meditation practice. The deep peace that comes simply by taking a deep breath and truly seeing the amazing surrounds of the bush/beach/ inner world never ceases to amaze me. I know I would have found this journey of fluctuating hormones, change and decisions much trickier without being connected to these gifts. The journey of pregnancy has allowed me to experience these joys in an ever deeper way. The feminine energy that is me at this time, sees colours in new ways, hears the birds sing with greater freedom and feels the sun reach deep into my bones. I was not expecting the deep bliss that has come from this heightened feminine state.

Water and connection with all things feminine, especially other women, has also been deeply comforting for me. The peace that fills me with a lovely bath, swim in the ocean, or sitting beside a river is intense and at times overwhelming. The pure love and support I have felt from other women during this time has also been wonderful and surprising. I feel so much more connected to the ‘sisterhood’ and marvel at the feats of women and how we can support and inspire each other in our own unique way. I’m hoping to find this peace and support in my labour where I plan to have a strong midwife present as my primary care giver and a water bath as my primary pain relief (or so the plan goes!). It is interesting (but perhaps not surprising) how my increased femininity has also deepened my connection with my husband. He has stepped into the role of holding the space and offering me exactly what I need when I ask. I am less afraid to ask for the support I need during this time and he is less afraid to offer it. This, I feel, has strengthened our relationship and does not make me feel like a 'weak woman' but rather a women on a mission that she does not want to do solely on her own. I feel empowered. More so than ever.

The more I understand this journey of pregnancy and the power in the feminine, the more it is becoming clear that the people and environment we surround our self with, can make or break our experience and ability to be in our power. This is not a new concept, and is not necessarily positive or negative, however it is in these heightened states of change and growth that the energies of others are more greatly felt.  Be wise with who/what you surround yourself with.

The other huge factor I have become aware of is the power of the expectations that we place on our self.  If I can offer one piece of advice, let go of all expectations in pregnancy and in life in general! Be present. Allow. Trust that you’ll deal with it when you get to it. Trust your body. I personally can not think of a bigger lesson in the wonderful, incredible, mysterious power of the body than pregnancy. Over the past 9 months, my uterus had expanded to over 1000 times it’s original size!!! It’s grown a placenta and of course a LITTLE HUMAN! All without me knowing or thinking or understanding this process. WOW. Imagine if we trusted ourselves completely to intuitively and genetically know how to live. Know what to feed our body. Know how to move our body. Know how to rest our body. This stuff all seems simple in comparison to what the uterus does, yet why do we get so stumped by this in daily life?? Is it the mind getting in the way?

 

"Develop a mind that is vast like the water... Rest in a mind that is vast like the water"
Gautama Buddah

 

The feminine energy grows very strong in pregnancy, or so I’ve experienced. It has been a wonderful journey of observing myself understand rest, stillness, creativity and timelessness. Of course, I’m still living in the modern world, so can not live completely timelessly, but my approach; my inner clock, the pressure I put on myself to be logical, organised and on time has all softened. I guess as my body has softened. As my intuition, energetic awareness, connection and vision has sharpened. It’s actually really lovely.

 

This is a state I believe we can all tap into if we choose to. It is not a state found only in pregnancy. It is an awareness, a choice and a suggestion. An alternative way of living rather than the ‘norm’ of the ‘doing’ state we are so often in. Life is much to do with balance, so if you find your days are usually full of doing, how can you invite in some being? Some stillness. Some connection. Some feminine power.

 

"People say that we're all seeking is a meaning for life... I think that what we're seeking is an experience of being alive, so that we actually feel the rapture of being alive"
Joseph Cambell

 

Here are some more specific tips and tools I used in my pregnancy which might be helpful for you if you are also on this journey;

·      Swimming has been my saviour when I need to move and breath deeply. My focus has shifted from how many laps I can swim (yes I was an exercise-aholic at times!) to the beautiful patterns the sun makes on the pool tiles through the water… :)

·      Yoga and Meditation… When I shifted from my usual strong Vinyasa practice to a softer pre-natal style, I truly began to connect to the little person inside me. It also altered my meditation practice greatly; I shifted into deeper inner exploration meditation. I have meditated most days in my pregnancy and I don’t think I could have continued to work for as long as I did with out this practice.

·      Getting into the bush. Sunshine, moonlight and fresh air.

·      Rest!

·      Talking and connecting with other women, my midwife and my partner. Asking for support and advice when needed. Taking the pieces of advice that you choose to.

·      Educating myself on my body, the process of pregnancy and labour;
My favourite books have been “The Mama Bamba Way” by Robyn Sheldon and “The Down to Earth Birth Book” by Jenny Blyth. Also Juju Sundin’s “Birth Skills” has been so empowering for the labour. I also attended an Active Birth workshop which was super great for my partner and I.

·      Eating well but not being too strict. I decided to not eat out as often so I knew what I was putting into my body. Cutting out foods that affected my energy and that I was naturally turned away from, for me that was red meat, refined sugars and gluten. I introduced in more dairy (apart from milk) I ate as much organic produce as possible.

·      Trust and Surrender. Everyday is different in pregnancy.

·      Kinesiology and Acupuncture, especially in the first and third trimesters

·      Essential Oils; Lemon and Peppermint for nausea and headaches. Lavender for sleep and calming. Citrus for energy. 

I hope this is of some benefit to you or someone you know

xox

The Art of moving out of Stuck-ness

So you may have noticed a trend with my blogs, I tend to only write something when it’s really screaming for my attention… and usually the inspiration comes directly from my clients… which is often a reflection of exactly where I am at at this moment also (yes I do have my own issues)

 

This week/month’s focus is the feeling of stuckness. Of emptyness. Of how the hell do I get through the next 5 weeks till Christmas-ness. 

 

Do you know this feeling??

 

It’s that feeling of waking up early as the sun rises, but not really wanting to get out of bed. And if you do manage to get out of bed, it’s the desire to sit with your cup of tea all day long. 

 

Know it??

 

So how do we move through this? Cos, it’s nearly summer, the time to reap the rewards of the spring harvest. To eat fruit and be merry. But, how can I do this when I’m exhausted and lost my mojo??

 

Perhaps this is a result of not hibernating and restoring your energy during winter? Perhaps you ploughed through the colder months as if you had energy to burn. As if you were invincible. You thrived even… but now… there is something lacking. 

 

So again, how can I move through this? 

 

My feeling is firstly to take the time to be aware of this fatigue and lack of motivation. Just feel it. Acknowledge it. Rest a little (or a lot). Say no to anything that is just not rocking it for you. Delete some social engagements that don’t engage you. Sit in the morning sun with your tea and recharge the bones with the Sun’s endless energy. 

 

Energy is endless you know, it never finishes or ceases to exist, it simply changes form or location.  Think of the incredible life giving energy of a tree, cut down and stored in the wood, burnt and converted into heat from a fire, transferred into biochemical energy for your body. So technically you can't be without energy, it is always around us. Moving across varying potentials of energy. 

 

You need to change your form. And perhaps your beliefs around what energy is. 

 

Try something new. Hang out with new friends. Read something you wouldn’t normally choose. Buy a new recipe book and get creative. Go to some new markets. Look up a new website/ blog to lose yourself in rather than good old facebook or instagram. 

 

Start small and work up to the big stuff. 

 

I’m not suggesting to quit your job or get a divorce… yet ;)

 

Working out what makes you happy NOW (now what used to or should make you happy) Then DO IT. Schedule in the time and make it happen. Only you can do this. And like I said, start small. It doesn’t have to be huge or overwhelming. I mean, heck, try Earl Grey instead of English Breakfast.

 

Then once you start to build some momentum toward present time happiness, you will start to see messages or signs to help with the bigger stuff. You will be more connected to your feelings so will begin to connect to what is working and what really isn’t. Inertia begins to act as a positive force toward positive change.

 

I love the “law” by Mark Manson, “The Law of Fuck Yes, or NO”. If it isn’t a “Fuck Yes, then it’s a NO”. 

 

This is what I’m implementing at the moment… do you think it might be of benefit to you too?

Rachelle

xx

Protecting Myself...

One of the most commonly asked questions in my clinic is… ‘how do you protect yourself from all this stuff (energy, emotions, beliefs) flying around?!’

Well you asked so here I go...

 

I have a few strategies. The most important is being present to the current situation.

I set the intention that I am present with each and every client. The whole time. The moment I feel I’m drifting off somewhere is the moment my energy is vulnerable. Being present to what is actually happening in the moment is a great way to protect yourself, as you feel what is coming at you and you can choose what to do with it. Feel it, express it and then let if flow through. I visualise I have lovely deep roots that the e-motion (energy in motion/ emotion in motion) can flow down out of my body and into the Earth. The old discarded ‘stuff’ acts as a type of compost for the Earth. I am then nourished by the fresh energy that she sends me back up through the roots.

If I’m not present, then the energy/ emotion/ belief is more likely to store in my body/ energy field. This doesn’t feel good as it’s not my stuff.

 

I use energy clearing sprays between each client to clear the room and I spray it over myself also. I open the window and allow fresh air to flow in. I use Australian Bush Flower Essences Love Spray, Shell Essences Harmony Spray and the Liquid Crystals Clearing Spray. 

 

Crystals. I use crystals like Lepidolite, Black Tourmaline and Black Onyx to create a shield which stops the e-motion moving upstairs into my home. Lepidolite is also a great protector from harmful EMF’s from wi-fi, power lines and electronic devices.

 

Hydration. I keep super hydrated. I drink so much water, herbal tea and coconut water on my clinic days (and all days really) I use vibrational Hydration drops to make sure I can absorb the water or add a pinch of Himalayan Salt to the water. Adequate hydration enables me to move the energy. If I’m dehydrated I’m affected by the energy; I usually end the day exhausted and don’t want to talk to anyone. If I maintain my hydration, I can be in the clinic all day and feel great at the end.

 

Boundaries. I know my limits and I don’t push them. I have set myself a maximum working time per day. Yes I work long days sometimes, but I won’t actually work with clients for more than 7 hours in a day.  If I start early and finish late, I will ensure I have breaks during the day where I nourish myself with good food, meditation and/or fresh air. Going for a short walk around the block in the afternoon or at the end of the day is super helpful to shift anything that doesn't feel good.

 

Self Healing and Clearing. I give myself healing when I can. This might mean a short meditation in the afternoon. It might mean as I’m falling asleep of an evening I give myself some Reiki or do a body scan clearing. It might be a foot rub as I’m sitting on the couch. Listening to soothing or classical music as I’m doing emails/ driving. These small acts of self love make my energy stronger and clearer. 

 

I hope you can take some of this into your life. So often we carry around other people's junk. We’ve got enough of our own stuff to sort through, we don’t need anyone else’s.

We’re also disempowering them from learning their own lessons in life by trying to do it for them.

Let them sort their own stuff so they don’t keep creating it.

Give a man a fish and he has one meal, teach him to fish and he’ll never be hungry (or something like that)…

 

Lots love

Rachelle

xx

 

Changing the Glasses

Ever wonder when it’s time to let go of the hurt and the pain and move on? It can be tough, as often we feel we still NEED something from the situation… recognition, support, understanding, thanks… but do we? Why are we searching for this from outside of ourself rather than honestly and opening giving ourself that feedback?

I’m talking about the times when you wanted MORE from the situation… When you felt betrayed that he or she didn’t do this or that. They didn’t say thank you. They didn’t help you out. They did something awful perhaps and never took responsibility for it. They used you.

So I started to look at this in myself and in my life and I started to see a pattern. This was how I was treating myself.

Have you ever done it to yourself? Pushed too hard without offering love or gratitude to your mind, body or heart? Took too much from self and didn't give or receive anything in return? I know I have. Many times. Gosh, I trained in Classical and Contemporary dance 6 days a week for 3 years whilst working part time and partying super hard, I then went straight into professional dance work whilst still working part time. During these 10 or so years, I don't think I gave myself more than 2 days off in a row from exercise. 

This leads me to wonder… do we create in our life what we are giving ourself??

What happens when we give OURSELF more? More love. More understanding. More support. Will I also attract it in? I think the answer is a resounding yes. 

It is, perhaps, a tricky transition to make. I heard the words ‘selfish’ ‘lazy’ and ‘really?!?’ popping into my head. 

So lets change those glasses. Put on the rose coloured ones for awhile… See how the world looks from a tinge of pink. A tinge of self love, support and understanding. Like how you would treat your best friend perhaps. Why not? I’ve been working on this for awhile now and I really quite like it :)

This perspective shift has to apply to how you look at the ENTIRE world and how it's unfolding, as well as yourself and your actions. There needs to be a sense of overarching trust and positivity.

I’ve been told that sometimes I’m not in the ‘real world’ that I’m this butterfly that just expects that it ‘will all work out’ (yes I have been known to say that) I’ve also been known to say “how can this be wrong- it is what it is” and “the Universe works in mysterious ways”….no actually I don’t think I’ve ever said that one out loud, but I’ve definitely thought it!!

This is highly frustrating to anyone wearing their brown coloured glasses (you know- all they can see is the crap). But I choose (as often as I can) to see the pink. Why wouldn’t I?!?!?! Why do we feel the need (often as a whole society) to focus on what’s lacking?

It’s the common statement to a child who comes home with a test result of 98%… “so what did you miss?” I mean really, come on!! New phrase “wow that’s amazing, go you! What was your strategy? Did you have a study plan? Did you ask lots of questions in class….” Have a moment of praise, of wonder, of acceptance. Then lets look on the learning that has been offered to us. What WORKED here. 

Sometimes it can be difficult to see what worked if there are layers of murkiness and pain involved. But keep digging and you will find it on some level of your consciousness. This can actually change your life (but then again it could just be what you’re allowing your attention to shift toward)

Lets focus on the positive and continue to try and grow more positiveness in the world. Look at what’s working and bring more of it in. Look on what can be improved and bring more of that in. Rather than always cutting ourself and each other down to size, lets support each other to build more good.

Lets acknowledge what we are ALL bringing to the table, warts and all, and see how we can make this WORK. If the time spent our Parliament slandering each other was spent focusing on developing new policies in alignment with what is creating positive growth and change in our society, I’m sure our world would be a richer place in all senses of the term. But this has to start HERE. Within YOU.

Gosh, could you imagine the time we would free up if we stopped slandering ourselves? 

We might even work out how to let that old stuff go. 

Lots love

Rachelle

 

Paint your masterpiece this festive season

As I celebrate all that is 2014 and set my sights on 2015, I aim to make each and every moment an unique aspect in my artwork of life.

 

Each interaction with each individual, each choice, each breath, each moment are all part of my masterpiece.
 

Wholeheartedness and presence leads to consistent and steady transformation. We are aware of what our whole self desires in the moment.


When we honour this without apology, we flourish and flow exactly to where we need to be.

My intention for the foreseeable future is not to get caught up in what I think I should be doing, or what I think others think I should be doing, but rather checking in what my heart desires, being present and acting from a place of wholeheartedness.

So here's to making present and wholehearted choices as best we can in each moment.


Presence is the best Present you can give;
to yourself 
and to those around you


 

Boundaries

So I’ve come to realise that I tend to be inspired to write a blog entry when I’ve noticed a re-occurring theme in my clinic during a week or even month. It makes me think that is this is something our society is dealing with at this time. Or perhaps it's about my own learning. Or all of the above :)

 

This month’s theme is boundaries. It opens from the Heart Chakra. Loving, trusting and respecting ourself and others.

 

What is a boundary and how do know where they lie? Boundaries can mean so many different things for different people. Often it is perceived as selfish and closed off. But to me, it is the opposite (remember Heart Chakra). Here is how I interpret this word;

 

A boundary is knowing when you’ve given enough of yourself to a person or situation and still feel comfortable about this. It is not necessarily your limit, often we can give more, but the repercussions of this additional giving is that we are left feeling resentful or unappreciated.

 

It is about cherishing yourself and maintaining your energy so you can be of true service to those you love. 

 

When we have clear boundaries we can say no and not feel guilty or shameful.

 

If you are not clear on where your boundaries lie you can find yourself Burnt Out. Exhausted. Resentful. A deep feeling of discomfort about a situation may arise.

You say YES to something because you feel obliged. You think it's the right thing to do. Deep down, you know it's not right for you.

 

So it seems pretty clear to me that it pays to take some time to work out what you are able to give and where your boundaries are. 

 

Here are some tools to help this drop in;

 

  1. Consider where your limits are being pushed at the moment or have been in the past.
    This involves looking at your life and considering the aspects that are causing feelings of discomfort or resentment. This could be relationships, work situations, family life or really anything at all. FEEL your way. Try not to think too much. What is making you FEEL uncomfortable or unsupported. You have most likely not upheld your boundaries in these situations. 

     
  2. Once you have identified an aspect of your life that need attention, ask yourself WHY did I end up here. Is this based on a belief, is it based on guilt, is it based on childhood patterns? Eg. Have I always been required to be the caregiver since childhood? Do I feel guilty if I ask my husband to help out at home if he has worked all day? Do I believe I must do it all? Do I believe only I can do this correctly?
     
  3. Start to question this. How else could I approach this? Is this belief true? Do I want to change this? If this is a pattern that has been running for a long time and if so why?
    You might need some help with this step. Talk it out with your partner, friend, counsellor etc. Write about it. Mediate on it. Breathe. Really spend some time here working out why it’s happened.

     
  4. How can you approach this situation from a different angle? Ask yourself what would have to change so I could feel comfortable and supported in this situation. Be clear and concise. 
     
  5. Give yourself permission to put this into action. Know it is OK (in fact, imperative) to have boundaries and be honouring yourself. Long term, this will actually help you to serve people on a deeper and more sustainable level. 
     
  6. Communicate. Express yourself. Clearly and openly. Be prepared for conflict and perhaps even surprise. The other person may have thought this was totally OK (you have probably even told them it is). The clearer you are on the reason why you are feeling crappy and how you want to change the situation, the easier this will be. It is not about blame or shame. It is about you being clear on what needs to change and why.
    How to word this; “I feel like x and I need y to change which will enable me to feel z” It is not “You are doing this and it is crap and I hate everything about you” (don’t laugh you have probably said this before!)

     
  7. Stick to it. Follow Through. Commit to yourself. Remind yourself constantly of the WHY. Know you are worth this change. This might just be the hardest part.
     
  8. Connect and assess how you FEEL about the situation once these changes have been applied. This is the pat on the back moment.

 

This is a constant journey. You will need to keep reminding yourself. Ask for help if you need it. Write about it. Express yourself. Believe in yourself. Love yourself.